|
Open Letter to Real Leaders
by Ray Strackbein
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. This is about addicts and codependents.
I can't help but see that waiting on the government to take action is enabling dysfunctional behavior. We activists and other concerned people get ready to take action, then we hear the promise that
there will be a big Y2K announcement in April. No big announcement. Then, as we again begin to mobilize, we wait because the word is that the government will change its behavior in
June. No change. We obsess on the behavior of the government, industrial leaders and other "powerful" people instead of claiming our own power. Am I the only one who sees this?
An addict is an addict is an addict.
It makes no difference if the addiction is to power, work, alcohol, sex, work drugs, or chocolate. An addict is an addict. Addicts don't care who they destroy. They will wipe out the finances and stability of their families to feed their habits. They will suck the life out of their friends. They will consume the resources of anyone who tries to "help."
One way to reach addicts is to hold them accountable and to let them face the consequences of their actions.
AlAnon teaches not to pay the debts for addicts. Let their credit card bills pile up. Let them face the music. The trouble is, if we are married to them, our credit rating is also destroyed -- if the addict goes bankrupt, so do we. Y2K will be a big lesson in accountability.
Not only are we enabling and cosigning the behavior of the drunk by riding in the car they are driving, but we are letting our kids ride in the car as well.
So do we keep pleading with the addict to change or do we get out of the car? What do we do every time they swear they have changed when their behavior shows otherwise? When do we stop cosigning this behavior?
Hi. My name is Ray.
I am the child of a dysfunctional family and a dysfunctional society. For most of my life, I was in denial. I still am. Because I was raised in dysfunction, I saw it as normal. Although I have never seen either of my parents drunk, I know well the stories of my drunken grandparents. My parents were raised in outrageous conditions and they also behaved outrageously. Although I have begun to come out of denial, I still find myself behaving outrageously at times. Outrage is normal. I am outraged about Y2K.
John Bradshaw, in his book Homecoming, writes about co-dependence. "I define co-dependence as a dis-ease characterized by a loss of identity." I have learned it also involves a loss of
personal power. We co-dependants think we are nothing by ourselves.
John Bradshaw also writes about Magical Beliefs: "I remember one client who had been married five times by the age of 32. She thought marriage would solve all of her problems.
If she could just find the 'right' man, everything would be fine."
Am I the only one who hallucinates that everything would be fine with Y2K if only our leaders -- John Koskinen, Bill Clinton, or Bill Gates -- would just sound the alarm?
If only, if only, if only … If only I could be a millionaire. If only I could be President. If only I could be rich and famous. If only I could win the lottery.
The trouble with this kind of thinking is that for most of us, these are unattainable.
Our thoughts paralyze us. They paralyze us into waiting to become rich. They paralyze us into waiting to become President. They paralyze us into waiting for "Them" to "Do Something" about Y2K.
Why are we waiting for the archaic, impotent, addicted hierarchy to do our job for us? We are just as accountable for being ineffective as Koskinen and Clinton are.
We are wasting time and energy. By waiting on "them" to change, we are swimming upstream.
Not only are we getting nowhere, but we are exhausting our own energy as well. We need to find the currents that can move us and use those currents to our advantage.
There is a way to discover the currents of change and use those currents to move us to a new level of effectiveness. Each of us has unique skills, knowledge, and our own audience. I cannot
talk about nuclear power or chemical plants -- my testimony would be hearsay. I can, however, talk about computers, disasters, and preparedness from my own direct experience.
We need to reach out to those who we can reach -- those who want to hear our message, perhaps those who just stumble on our message -- and do what we can. Tom Atlee has his audience and his message.
Leon Kappleman has his. Paloma has hers, as does my wife, Sally. I read the e-mail from the people who are thrilled to discover http://www.y2kkitchen.com. People tell us how our efforts and message have empowered them to convince a few neighbors and family members to prepare for contingencies. They are preparing for themselves and their friends and extended families. They are preparing for those who won't. We need to get all available food from the warehouses and into the neighborhoods.
Grant each of us acceptance, courage, and wisdom.
We cannot carry everyone's message, but we can give ourselves permission to speak our own message based on our personal knowledge and experience, touching the people we can in the ways we can.
Giving our power away by waiting for the government or industry to do something hurts everyone.
www.y2kkitchen.com Copyright © Ray Strackbein ray@y2kkitchen.com
Get more! Buy Y2K Kitchen - The Book (703)262-0300 voice/fax
Y2K Kitchen, 12030 Sunrise Valley Dr., #300, Reston, VA 20191
|
